Thought Patterns

Instead of write:

- clean fish tanks, inside and out.
- make fish and snail food (which really is odoriferous)
- sort through "to be filed" stack and put in order (but don't actually file 'cause that's something you can do later, see)
- surf the 'Net looking for the answer to a question you've not asked yet (very Zen, I think)
- rearrange decorations in 56g tank just for giggles
- stare out the window toward the bird feeder and pretend you are deep in thought when, in reality, you're wondering just where the heck did all those Cardinals come from and could they get any redder without exploding?
- look around on desk for some obscure USB adapter that you put away somewhere "safe" and haven't seen since. not that you need the adapter…
- read through the scads of posts from the High Performance Software Defined Radio e-list. The technical talk makes little sense but to read it feels as if you are doing something with the brain.
- spend time putting this post together, including all the linkages.

Wikipedia, the ghod of information, has an entry for Writer's Block.

Word Web (an excellent thesaurus/dictionary program) defines Writer's Block as:

n. An inability to write

That definition can be loosely translated to refer to someone who is not a writer by trade or hobby. A "type of" that Word Web lists was "mental block".

n. An inability to remember or think of something you normally can do; often caused by emotional tension

So merge the two together and it's a definition I can live with.

I do wonder, however, how much stress has to do with writer's block. It seems like such a cop-out. I've experienced writer's block, per my merged definition, and it's not been because of stress. Mine was just pure apathy (aka give-a-shit-itis). Writer's block also has a lot to do with the book being worked on. Sometimes, truly, it just stinks and you don't want to admit it. Saying you have writer's block is easier–and carries less stigma–than saying your book stinks. Fellow writers will flock to your side and give you chocolate, fully understanding how you feel.

We all react to stress differently. Some get all hyped up. Others freeze in place. Others, like myself, shut down. Any of these will effect our writing. Apathy, brain-freeze (seize?) is a big hindrance to creativity. So how to counteract that?

I feel it depends on how long the block has been in place. If I catch it soon enough, I can get around it by skipping that section of the book and going to another. But if I pay too much attention to it, or don't catch it in time, then skipping ahead doesn't often work. Sometimes I do little bits at a time. Or I freewrite. Or I move to another project altogether. But I have to want to deal with it.

And that's when the trouble really begins.

How do you deal with writer's block? What do you think it is; meaning, what is your definition of it? Does it really exist or is it a pretty term used by writers to get chocolate?

I ain't done diddlysquat. Not nery a bit. Well, okay, I did get about 600 words the other night.

I do have the excuse that I wasn't feeling well (don't tell Lorna). And I am distracted by the new dog. And, um, well, I am sure there are other reasons.

Procrastination methods:

1. Alpha Centauri
2. Shape Shifter
3. Text Twist
4. Solitaire Vol. 1 (TriPeaks and Yukon)
5. Animal Planet

My horoscope for this week, a very special week indeed, says:

"Sometimes it's not how good you are but how bad you want it," read the t-shirt of a guy buying a lottery ticket at the convenience store. While I don't think he was making the best use of that philosophy–playing a game of chance heavily weighted against his success–I do think it's a principle worth meditation on, especially for you right now, Leo. Your skill and understanding are certainly not irrelevant as you push to the next level of your quest, but they are less important than the intensity of your longing.

Lorna read that to me from the Mountain Xpress as we sat inside Blue Mountain Pizza in Weaverville. At first, I didn't get it (I don't do well with verbal information). So she cut it down to the essentials for me:

Your skill and understanding are certainly not irrelevant as you push toward a goal, but they are less important than how bad you want to reach that goal.

Now that I understood.

How bad do I want to be a writer? How bad do I want to get the edits for BGCFA done so it can go to the 2nd editor then to layout? How bad do I want to get back to the rest of my projects? Or would I rather play another round of Alpha Centauri? Which do I want more?

That got me to thinking. I need to prioritize things in my life. Not having a schedule doesn't help any, that's for sure. I want to be a professional writer, not a professional PC gamer. I do. I want to be a writer bad enough that I realize I need to set the games aside and get to work.

When I got my laptop a couple of years ago, it wasn't meant to be a desktop replacement. It was to be the machine I did my writing on and what I used on days I couldn't sit up at the desk. I even got it with only a 20GB hard drive since I didn't see that I'd put that much on it.

Ha.

I now have a 60GB hard drive and this thang is a desktop replacement. Not that it's a bad thing, only that it isn't used just for writing.

And since it is used for everything I do on a computer, well, that means I have games on it.

Zoo Tycoon 2
Diner Dash
Luxor
Jewel Quest
Text Twist
WhatWord
Cards (bunches)

There were a lot more before I changed hard drives. I've just resisted the urge to put them back on.

Then there's the other "games".

AutoRealm
Campaign Cartographer
Deskbot
Winamp
Inspiration

And, of course, we can't forget Firefox and Thunderbird which leads to the Internet and e-mail.

WheelchairJunkie.com
BBCNews
Wired News
Miss Snark
Blogging/Websites
WeatherUnderground
Comics
Ham Radio Forum
Wheelchair Forum
Bunches of RSS feeds from other bloggers

Do I dump everything from this machine or do I get more dedicated? Not dedicated, that's not the word. Disciplined, that's the word. It's a fun word at times, when used in a safe, sane, and consensual way. But this isn't one of those times. This tastes almost like…work!

Dump everything?? Am I nuts!? I've already visited this concept and still have nightmares about it. Am I addicted to games and the 'Net? No, that's not the right word for it. Habit? Ritualization?

At any rate, no, I'm not unplugging from the 'Net. No, I'm not taking off my games. That just goes against my basic religion of loving myself as I would you. Instead, I am going to try a sche….a sche….a sched….a schedule. gasp! That was hard to even type!

Office hours sounds more politically correct, don't it?

I have these ideas in my head and I think, hey, as soon as I get to the 'puter, that story is just going to fly!

Wrong.

Sometimes I think staring at a half finished manuscript is as bad as staring at a blank page.

And yes, Sophia, I do have Maass' book here in front of me. I even opened it today.

Once I got home this afternoon and took a wee nap, I sat down here to write. But first, email. And then, check for comments to pass or fail. Then there's the half finished game from earlier today. Oh, and then there's the other game that I just can't seem to get beyond this level.

Okay, finally got WIP open and I start writing…..except nothing comes out. It's all in there, all jammed up against each other but can't come out.

Well, whined enough here. I really ought to be over there, writing. You know?

I soooo wanted to get to work today, to write real words on a read WIP. But nope. Today was a bad day.

Me and the dogs got into several 'discussions'.

The storm front has my bod screaming at me.

My apathy level was high.

I opened SSv6 (Simple Sarah version 6) tonight but wound up doing research instead. Anyone have any idea on how they used to dye the leather? I can find all sorts of tanning history but not dye. Still looking though.

I've decided to let the BG books sit a spell, kinda simmer for a few weeks while I work on SSv6.