Thought Patterns

Georganna Hancock (of A Writer's Edge) got me started. So blame her.

Our dryer died a long time ago and we've not gotten around to replacing it. It's complicated, see, since the dry and washer are attached and there's only one plug and…well…it's one of those things. But this is how I feel since Laundry Day often gets skipped for longer than it should.

And how I feel about cell phones and other multi-purpose gadgets.

Cartoons by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Just got this from CripHumor, By and For the Severely Euphemized. My fave is #3, followed closely by #5.

Ouch's Top Ten

This top ten was submitted by Stevie Kennedy from Essex, who previously sent us Ten worst things to say to a person with M.E. This one was inspired by a previous Ouch Top Ten. Thanks again, Stevie!

"What are you doing in that wheelchair thing?"

1 "My skateboard's broken."
2 "Why not? That's what I say."
3 "Well, why are you walking?"
4 "Wheelbarrow races are so passé."
5 "It’s even more environmentally friendly than one of those hybrid cars."
6 "I’m on the run from the police. I thought this would make me look less conspicuous."
7 "Can you guess?"
8 "I was too heavy for my helper dog."
9 "Cruising for someone special."
10 "Chillin‘. Killin‘."

Linkage:
CripHumor
Ouch!

from: Science Jokes
Special Category: Christmas Science Jokes
Q: How does Santa deliver presents all over the world on Christmas Eve?
A: With Rudolf the red-shift reindeer.

(link to more Christmas Science jokes, including the physics of Santa's existence)

History of Santa via the Snopes site (the original myth busters)

Rudolph and his Montgomery Ward connection (also from the Snopes site)

From CripHumor:

Many PWD can relate to Sylvester Stallone, 61, who will return in his third Rambo sequel after 20 years. The Green Beret will journey to Myanmar to overturn its despotic regime. Watch for age-appropriate uniforms and equipment. Soon cross-overs of uniforms and equipment to meet the needs of the disabled community will appear, thanks to good OLD Sylvester Stallone going first:

1] Combination dog tag/medic alert bracelet
2] Dr. Scholl combat boots
3] Bi-focal night vision goggles, for day and night wear
4] Electric bayonet
5] Hand grenades with orthopedic grips
6] Clapper activated tent lantern
7] Sans-a-belt flack jacket
8] Low sodium, high fiber MRE's
9] Accessible Tank with perpetual left turn signal
10] Congestive purple heart medal
- Bob Mills

My fave comic strip, For Better or For Worse, has a cool comic for today. One of the characters has sold his first novel and he has received the author copies.

Due to copyright issues I'd rather not have explained to me by Lynn Johnston's lawyers, I won't post the image here. Instead, I'll give the link:

For Better of For Worse comic strip for October 15, 2007

From CripHumor:

Once again Jest-A-Day provides us w/a reason to laugh… We learn it is "Deaf Awareness Week" ~ DAW is the last full week, Sunday through Saturday, of this September! It's in commemoration of the first World Congress of the Deaf held that week in 1951. Thanks for that info [Jest-A-Day Journal - http://jestaday.com ]

A logger went to cut down a tree. He used his ax a few times, yelled "timber," and the tree fell. Then chopped for a while on a second tree, yelled "timber," and that tree fell as well. He went through the same process with a third tree, but the third tree wouldn't fall over. So he tried a chain saw, and then explosives, finally he called in a "Tree Doctor." The doctor checked out the tree, thought about what to do for a minute then finger-spelled "T-I-M-B-E-R." The third tree finally fell down. The doctor explained to the lumberjack that this particular tree was Deaf.
[Thanks to Dr Bill Vicars ~ BTW, He collects deaf jokes, HoH [Hard of Hearing] and American Sign Language jokes. Have any? Send 'em to BillVicars@aol.com ]

—

Question: What language do pigs speak?
Answer: Swine language.

Question: What language do porcupines speak?
Answer: Spine language.

Question: What language do billboards speak?
Answer: sign language

—

[from the Crip Humor ~ By and For the Severely Euphemized archives at http://www.topica.com/lists/CripHumor ]
Hard of Hearing…
Two women run into each other outside an exclusive department store. The first woman is carrying lots of packages and it's clear she's been power shopping.

Woman One:
"Sweetie, I don't know why we haven't seen you around the club lately. I ran into your doctor and he said he told you to diet and exercise."

Woman Two:
"Really?! Well, bless your heart for telling me. I sure thought he said, "Buy it and accessorize!"

Cool video

mucho thankso to Rrrose