Thought Patterns

I got Simple Sarah back from D and R. They did an awesome job of reading it, doing some proofing, and giving quality feedback. Exactly what I needed them to do.

I went over the printed manuscript. D had squished it from 365 pages w/ 12pt font and double space lines to 95 pages w/ itty bitty font and single space lines. Eeegads, I need new glasses! Oh, anyway, I went over it last night, glancing at their notes, mainly. They knew it was a rough draft so they didn't feel the need to truly proof it, but they did note where errors were startling or oh so obvious. They made comments about how they felt about a scene, what lines they liked, where they got confused, etc. I laughed at some of the errors they found. Like, in the beginning, they go to a pub called The Cracked Mug. Later, I must have forgotten its name and thought it was The Broken Mug. One of them noted "Did the mug break from its crack?" In another place, the recruits are on a force jog/march and at their first break, their packs are inspected. I said "Three recruits were found to have not all the required contents." Snort. What were they missing? A kidney or perhaps part of a liver? D and R just underlined it and put a question mark. No snide remark on that one.

Their biggest problem was the name of the nation. In its beginning as a nation, it starts out as "Einthobia" then later, the nation changes its name as "Thobia" to signify an important part of their history. Both D and R hated it. Absolutely cannot stand it. R disliked it the most and had a hard time with it throughout the book.

So I need to rename it, you reckon?

The other nations on this continent are:

Nations of the Coalition:

Thobia - southwest
Freehold – north central
Algeanda – east of Thobia
Confederacy of Domains – east of Algeanda
Wain
Venial Commonwealth – north of Wain, east of Freehold
Frore
Bohome – northwestern most

Suggestions? I could really use some help.

I've asked before and gotten no response so I thought I would ask one more time just because I like to punish myself.

I am in need of Beta Readers. These are individuals who read a novel in its various draft forms. They give feedback in higher degrees than "I like it".

I am not looking for grammar editing. I am looking for plot and character development comments; scene transition comments; and other input that will help shape the novel into becoming marketable and readable.

If you are interested, let me know!

Right now I have a fantasy novel that I am about to fine-tune and submit to my publisher (who has agreed to look at it and not wait for another Butch Girl novel!!). Here's the in-progress synopsis:

Simple Sarah is a 91K word fantasy novel where the main character is the sidekick, not the sword-swinging, goddess-blessed heroine. Sarah is just Sarah, nothing special other than her intelligence and grasp of languages. After a delay, she finally gets to join the Abbey and start her journey toward becoming a Servant of her goddess, Chamandra. However, Sarah's asked by Chamandra to be more, to use her innate simplicity to do something quite complex. It involves higher levels of meditation, greater degrees of patience, and loving someone who does not want to be loved.

I'm almost finished with Simple Sarah. I'm looking for someone(s) to go over this semi-rough draft and give feedback.

The feedback needs to be more than "it was great/awful". I need to know how the characters were developed, where the plot sunk, how the ending was, etc etc.

I also need the feedback within 2 weeks of me sending the manuscript to you.

Any takers?

WANTED: BETA READERS. What's a beta reader? Beta readers are folks who read either chapters, stories or the novel to give the writer active feedback. We writers tend to get so caught up in our stories that we can't see the whole picture, er, storyline.

Anyone interested in becoming my first beta reader or two?