Thought Patterns

Used to, I just sat down and wrote. My mind wasn't crowded by crap such as sentence structure, plot, and the dreaded Show, Don't Tell. (shudder)

I could sit down and write several thousand words a day and not break a sweat. A story just flowed from one point to the other, rambling along its way. When it was done, I just cut out what didn't need to be there and fixed the rest.

Now I'm lucky to get several hundred words a day. I keep thinking (which is a problem of its own) about where the paragraph/chapter is going, how to keep it in line, etc etc etc. I don't let the story just take off and take me along with it.

It's driving me nuts.

It started not long after BGCFA was released. I stopped writing for myself and started writing for Them. The fun, the joy, was lost in the chaos. Or, perhaps, it was lost in the order. Chaos is something I almost thrive on. Yeah, sure, I like my sheets to match. And I like all the spoons in the drawer to face the same way. And watching me play Tetris would make you think I have OCD. Trust me, I don't have OCD (or CDO, which is the same but in alphabetical order like it should be).

I am trying to write, honest I am. The deadline isn't bothering me, so that's not why I am failing. I tend to set myself up to fail in order to prove I am scum on the pond God created. I may not have OCD but I do have OHR. Anyway, I am trying to write. I want to let loose what is inside but it is hesitant. Afraid to show its face only to get slapped down by the Chicago Manual of Style. And since it knows the CMS is a hard back book of 956 pages, it isn't going to just rush out and greet the world again. I may be crazy but I ain't stupid.

What I think I will do is dig out my Zen, select the Writing folder of music, and just start typing. Worked before. Maybe it will work again.

Soon, as in, early September, I plan on ordering a bunch of my books. I'll be sending some to Ruta who recently bought Amazon Books in Minneapolis. These will be signed and have a sticker that says "Winner of Goldie" or something like that. GCLS provides 50 stickers to the winners. (and I'm one of 'em!)

The rest of them I'll keep around for whatever reason comes to mind. Such as for you guys and dolls.

If you would like one of the books, signed however way you want it, let me know. You'll have to pay for it, of course, but it won't cost any more than an unsigned book. And if anyone already have one and want it signed, send it to me. I promise to send it back. Just email me (you can use the contact page) with your information.

I won't kiss it though. That's a femme thing.

I hope to be able to finally have a reading (shudder) or signing at Malaprops soon. And hopefully another at a bookstore in Sylva (you reading this Robyn??) I hope to sweet talk other writers into joining me at both locations, probably Jane Vollbrecht. These are things I've been meaning to do (I know it is hard to believe, but I don't like limelight) but keep putting off. With BGCFA now a Goldie winner and at least one other BG book coming out (yes, yes, I am writing it), it may become an obligatory thing.

I've been reading a lot lately and enjoying most of the books.

One of Lorna's co-workers, Patti, loaned us Stephanie Meyer's books
Twilight
New Moon
Eclipse

She also just loaned us the last book, Breaking Dawn. I've not read it yet, but Lorna did. I'm not so sure I like them but I did want to see how each book ended. They are really drawn out monster books, basically. Far too much angst (a lot of it unnecessary) for my tastes. And some of the science is wrong, which bothers me the most, I think. (spoiler alert: The werewolf says he has a regular body temp of 108F. Impossible. He may be a werewolf but he still has a human body and it can't live at that high a temp. It was silly of her to make it that high.)

The Lesbian Fiction Forum had a challenge where we read a book in a genre we either don't like or rarely read. The next two challenges we all read the same book.

Away From the Dawn by Kate Sweeney (horror/erotica)
The Stone Gods by Jeanette Winterson (a science fiction-slash-fantasy)
Hotel Liaison by JLee Meyer (romance) - this is the current one
The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith - up next

I've also read:
Something to Be Thankful For by Carrie Carr (romance)
Merker's Outpost by I. Christie (SF)
Broken Wings (funny as heck with serious undertones) by L-J Baker (Fantasy)
Lady Knight by L-J Baker (um, fantasy/romance?)
Earth by David Brin (SF)
The Fated Sky by Henrietta Branford (young adult)

On the plane home from Phoenix, I read Sue Slate, Private Eye by THE Lee Lynch. It was a fun read but too short!

Earlier today I finished Daughters of a Coral Dawn by THE Katherine V. Forrest. It is the first of a series of books she wrote way back in the early 80s. Science Fiction, by the way. I had the pleasure of meeting Katherine in Phoenix. I even had lunch with her, Lee, and Lee's Sweetie. It was relaxing!

That's a lot of books but I feel like I am missing one somewhere.

I've got a bunch lined up. A bunch by Lee Lynch that I've read before but loaned out my copies, never to be seen again. She gave me signed copies of The Swashbuckler and That Old Studebaker for my birthday. She'd also brought extra copies of other books so I bought them at the Star Crossed Production's table. And, of course, I ran her down (not over) and had her sign these, too.
Dusty's Queen of Hearts Diner
Morton River Valley
Cactus Love (collection of short stories)
Rafferty Street

I'd read Dusty's book before but no clue where the book is. The others I'd not ever read so this will be fun.

In the auction, I won the bid for a bunch of Catherine Friend's books.
The Perfect Nest (a children's book)
Hit By a Farm (a kind of memoir)
The Compassionate Carnivore (non-fiction)
The Spanish Pearl
Crown of Valencia

The last two won Goldies this year in Phoenix.

I've got a lot of reading to do! And I've got a lot of writing to do, too! It's a tough life.

Still. And loving every second of it.

Let's see. Getting to Phoenix wasn't that bad. I had two great flights with an talkative man in the seat next to me. That makes time fly by. However, while outside waiting for the Super Shuttle, I got something in my eye which then led to a lot of problems. Luckily, one of the other volunteers is also an EMT and worked with me to get it fixed. We tried 3 different eye drops until we got the right one. After a night of not blinking and rubbing it, it was much better. Patty was afraid I'd cut it and we'd need to go get it taken care of. It got all gummy that day but the eye drops worked wonders.

This con was so relaxed and calming. The hotel was HUGE in terms of horizontal space but was only 5 stories tall at the highest. I made it to a lot of workshops but I also skipped a lot and hung out with people instead. I got to meet a lot of new folk and get reacquainted with a bunch more.

I went to almost all of the Coffee Chat things. They were excellent!

Saturday morning they auctioned off some cutie pie authors (which means I was NOT one of them). Nell Stark, Georgia Beers, Karin Kallmaker, Lynn Ames, KG McGregor. I think that was all of them. The auction was for the first dance after the awards ceremony. Nell went first and went for "only" $110 but her willingness to act up set the tone for the rest. I can't remember all the amounts, but Lynn Ames went for $300 and Karin Kallmaker went for $600!

Now, here's where I get all soft and mushy. The night before, a bunch of us went out to dinner and CL said she was going to bid on Lynn Ames. But Lynn said CL would have to get permission first (wimp). CL got out the cell phone and after some texting back and forth, she got her permission. Then Saturday morning, I see the CL is bidding on Lynn but as the price goes up, people keep handing her money so she can be the top bid. Finally, CL wins and I lean over (I'm across the room) and grin at her. She then says "Happy Birthday".

Yes, Saturday was my birthday. And yes, friends paid $300 for me to dance with Lynn Ames. I about had a heart attack. One, to think that people like me enough to spend that much money as a group. And two, a dance with LYNN AMES. She and I later discussed it and we decided she'd ride on my lap in the chair. Lynn is a sweetheart and was thrilled to be gifted to me for one dance. It was fun. It was embarrassing. And I'd do it again.

Then at the awards, I was getting nervous. CL made me write up a speech so that I'd not make a fool of myself if I actually won. So I did and stuffed it in my shirt pocket. Regal Crest racked up the awards! Six of 'em, not including the Director's Award to Nann Dunn. K E Lane won three awards for her book, And Playing the Role of Herself (Romance category, Debut Author, and Popular Choice). Jane Vollbrecht (my editor for BGCFA) won an award for In Broad Daylight in the Dramatic General Fiction category. Brenda Adcock won in the Mystery category for her Redress of Grievances. And then there was mine in the Debut Author category.

In each category, three people announced the finalists (split between them) then each one announced one winner each. In the Debut Author category, that was Katherine V Forrest, Karin Kallmaker, and….crap, someone else. You know, I haven't a clue who won the third Debut Author award nor who announced it! Isn't that awful?! Shit.

Anyway, Katherine V Forrest goes first and announces K E Lane. Katherine is K E's idol so that was just wonderful for her. Karin Kallmaker announced the second one. She steps up, puts the award on the podium, and opens the envelope. Then she picks the award back up, kisses it, and announces the winner. When she picked it up, I knew it was me.

The rest is a blur. They tell me I raced up the ramp so fast they thought I was going to go airborne. I am soooo glad CL made me write it down, else I'd not known what to say. Later I'll put my words here to share with everyone.

Thought I'd share the highlights. More on the various individual workshops tomorrow.

Says it all.

(link to bigger version)

And having a blast!

I've been busy, too. I have volunteered to help with several things ranging from stuffing the registration packets to folding programs for Saturday's events to working the registration table to…. well, several things. I've also signed several books, much to my embarrassment. And, of course, I've been to several workshops which were interesting, but not as interesting as I'd hoped they would be. Could be I was not in the right frame of mind, ya know?

I had lunch with THE Lee Lynch and her Sweetie. And THE Katherine Forrest joined us, which was cool. After Katherine left (she had to prepare for her workshop), Lee and Sweetie presented me with gifts. A copy of The Swashbuckler and The Old Studebaker. Both signed, of course. And then a Waterman pen. Lee felt that every author should have a Waterman pen. I felt honored. I still feel honored.

Later, I attended the Coffee Chat with THE Lee Lynch and Jess Wells. I'd never heard of her, but that's not a rare thing. We've been out the lesfic loop for too long. But that's another story. Jess Wells seems like a cool person and I will be getting her book, Mandrake Broom, soon. I had already reached my spending quota for books.

At any rate, I'll do linkages later. It is after 10pm here, 1am at home, and my brain and body has begun to slow down for the day.

More later!

The Butch Cook Book is out!

I can't remember if I told y'all it had finally come out or not.

It is a fun cookbook, chock full o' notes and tidbits about cooking, relationships, butches, books, and the contributors. (I'm one of them!)