Thought Patterns

My push to write has ground to a halt. Bits and pieces of flotsam and jetsam have jammed my gears. It is irritating.

Meanwhile, I've read some truly awful books (with poor editing and copy editing, too!) and while I know I can do better than that, I just can't seem to get it going.

I did have some flashes of inspiration and wrote out several two page somethings. One was very very weird. Weirder than my normal weird. I deleted it. The other two I saved. Maybe some day, if you are nice, I might share. Don't hold yer breath though.

I still can't just let myself go and write whatever comes off the tips of my fingers as they bang the keys. The three short stories (more like flash fiction) kinda helped, but I can't seem to do it on the current WIPs. Very frustrating.

I hurt my back today. I bent over. Silly of me, I know. My shoulder is killing me, too. When Fay was giving us the much needed rain, I was drugged to keep the pain at bay or at least to a dull roar. Monster Blue is still at the repair shop. Come to find out, the monkeys in Charlotte had freakin' unplugged everything underneath. They'd opened the battery compartment and unplugged everything. Since I'd had trouble with it before that, I didn't think to actually look. But while Mobility Concepts had the thing, they did some upgrading for safety reasons. I had a busted armrest (damn flimsy plastic on a place where people put their weight to transfer) and was missing both armrest pads (one blew off on the way to Atlanta three years ago). I can go get Blue at any time while they wait for the parts. And I can, now, since Lorna finally got her car on the road and I have My Truck back.

At any rate, there ya go.

Arrgh.

The current direction of BG2 just ain't gonna work. I have Ellen and Sam moving down together (from Philly). But it's just not working. I can't do Nikki and Ellen's plot with Sam and Chaz's going on, too. The time line just isn't coming together right. And it's just not time, it's plot. That thing that readers kinda hope happens when they buy a book, yanno? Silly readers. What do they know, right?

Anyway, I've now got to back up and make it Ellen moves down alone, but perhaps Sam comes with her maybe, to help? Then returns up Nawth? She needs to come down later to meet Chaz again, but right now, it just isn't working.

Sometimes I wish my characters DID talk to me, 'cause then I'd put their fictional asses to work! You don't like where I'm taking you? FINE! Where do you want to go? I figure if I fall asleep during the movie in my head, then the book isn't working as it is.

Dammit. And I'd crossed the 10K line today, too!

Used to, I just sat down and wrote. My mind wasn't crowded by crap such as sentence structure, plot, and the dreaded Show, Don't Tell. (shudder)

I could sit down and write several thousand words a day and not break a sweat. A story just flowed from one point to the other, rambling along its way. When it was done, I just cut out what didn't need to be there and fixed the rest.

Now I'm lucky to get several hundred words a day. I keep thinking (which is a problem of its own) about where the paragraph/chapter is going, how to keep it in line, etc etc etc. I don't let the story just take off and take me along with it.

It's driving me nuts.

It started not long after BGCFA was released. I stopped writing for myself and started writing for Them. The fun, the joy, was lost in the chaos. Or, perhaps, it was lost in the order. Chaos is something I almost thrive on. Yeah, sure, I like my sheets to match. And I like all the spoons in the drawer to face the same way. And watching me play Tetris would make you think I have OCD. Trust me, I don't have OCD (or CDO, which is the same but in alphabetical order like it should be).

I am trying to write, honest I am. The deadline isn't bothering me, so that's not why I am failing. I tend to set myself up to fail in order to prove I am scum on the pond God created. I may not have OCD but I do have OHR. Anyway, I am trying to write. I want to let loose what is inside but it is hesitant. Afraid to show its face only to get slapped down by the Chicago Manual of Style. And since it knows the CMS is a hard back book of 956 pages, it isn't going to just rush out and greet the world again. I may be crazy but I ain't stupid.

What I think I will do is dig out my Zen, select the Writing folder of music, and just start typing. Worked before. Maybe it will work again.

From MyWay News:

Researcher says bigfoot just a rubber gorilla suit
Aug 19, 8:01 PM (ET)
By JUANITA COUSINS

ATLANTA (AP) - Turns out Bigfoot was just a rubber suit. Two researchers on a quest to prove the existence of Bigfoot say that the carcass encased in a block of ice - handed over to them for an undisclosed sum by two men who claimed to have found it - was slowly thawed out, and discovered to be a rubber gorilla outfit.

The revelation comes just days after a much ballyhooed news conference was held in California to proclaim that the remains of the creature found in the North Georgia mountains was the legendary man-ape.

Steve Kulls, executive director of squatchdetective.com and host of Squatchdetective Radio, says in a posting on a Web site run by Bigfoot researcher Tom Biscardi that as the "evidence" was thawed, the claim began to unravel as a giant hoax.

First, the hair sample was burned and "melted into a ball uncharacteristic of hair," Kulls said in the posting.

The thawing process was sped up and the exposed head was found to be "unusually hollow in one small section." An hour of thawing later and the feet were exposed - and they were found to be made of rubber.

Snort. Of course it was a hoax.

The end of the article is the best, in my opinion:

On Tuesday, Clayton County Police Chief Jeff Turner said he has not spoken to Whitton but processed paperwork to fire him.

"Once he perpetrated a fraud, that goes into his credibility and integrity," Turner said. "He has violated the duty of a police officer."

source

Once you accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something…
wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

Soon, as in, early September, I plan on ordering a bunch of my books. I'll be sending some to Ruta who recently bought Amazon Books in Minneapolis. These will be signed and have a sticker that says "Winner of Goldie" or something like that. GCLS provides 50 stickers to the winners. (and I'm one of 'em!)

The rest of them I'll keep around for whatever reason comes to mind. Such as for you guys and dolls.

If you would like one of the books, signed however way you want it, let me know. You'll have to pay for it, of course, but it won't cost any more than an unsigned book. And if anyone already have one and want it signed, send it to me. I promise to send it back. Just email me (you can use the contact page) with your information.

I won't kiss it though. That's a femme thing.

I hope to be able to finally have a reading (shudder) or signing at Malaprops soon. And hopefully another at a bookstore in Sylva (you reading this Robyn??) I hope to sweet talk other writers into joining me at both locations, probably Jane Vollbrecht. These are things I've been meaning to do (I know it is hard to believe, but I don't like limelight) but keep putting off. With BGCFA now a Goldie winner and at least one other BG book coming out (yes, yes, I am writing it), it may become an obligatory thing.

I've been reading a lot lately and enjoying most of the books.

One of Lorna's co-workers, Patti, loaned us Stephanie Meyer's books
Twilight
New Moon
Eclipse

She also just loaned us the last book, Breaking Dawn. I've not read it yet, but Lorna did. I'm not so sure I like them but I did want to see how each book ended. They are really drawn out monster books, basically. Far too much angst (a lot of it unnecessary) for my tastes. And some of the science is wrong, which bothers me the most, I think. (spoiler alert: The werewolf says he has a regular body temp of 108F. Impossible. He may be a werewolf but he still has a human body and it can't live at that high a temp. It was silly of her to make it that high.)

The Lesbian Fiction Forum had a challenge where we read a book in a genre we either don't like or rarely read. The next two challenges we all read the same book.

Away From the Dawn by Kate Sweeney (horror/erotica)
The Stone Gods by Jeanette Winterson (a science fiction-slash-fantasy)
Hotel Liaison by JLee Meyer (romance) - this is the current one
The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith - up next

I've also read:
Something to Be Thankful For by Carrie Carr (romance)
Merker's Outpost by I. Christie (SF)
Broken Wings (funny as heck with serious undertones) by L-J Baker (Fantasy)
Lady Knight by L-J Baker (um, fantasy/romance?)
Earth by David Brin (SF)
The Fated Sky by Henrietta Branford (young adult)

On the plane home from Phoenix, I read Sue Slate, Private Eye by THE Lee Lynch. It was a fun read but too short!

Earlier today I finished Daughters of a Coral Dawn by THE Katherine V. Forrest. It is the first of a series of books she wrote way back in the early 80s. Science Fiction, by the way. I had the pleasure of meeting Katherine in Phoenix. I even had lunch with her, Lee, and Lee's Sweetie. It was relaxing!

That's a lot of books but I feel like I am missing one somewhere.

I've got a bunch lined up. A bunch by Lee Lynch that I've read before but loaned out my copies, never to be seen again. She gave me signed copies of The Swashbuckler and That Old Studebaker for my birthday. She'd also brought extra copies of other books so I bought them at the Star Crossed Production's table. And, of course, I ran her down (not over) and had her sign these, too.
Dusty's Queen of Hearts Diner
Morton River Valley
Cactus Love (collection of short stories)
Rafferty Street

I'd read Dusty's book before but no clue where the book is. The others I'd not ever read so this will be fun.

In the auction, I won the bid for a bunch of Catherine Friend's books.
The Perfect Nest (a children's book)
Hit By a Farm (a kind of memoir)
The Compassionate Carnivore (non-fiction)
The Spanish Pearl
Crown of Valencia

The last two won Goldies this year in Phoenix.

I've got a lot of reading to do! And I've got a lot of writing to do, too! It's a tough life.