Lesbian Fiction Forumhad had
What the heck heck kind of wording is that?
'So far, Grace had had a bad day at work.'
This is what it was to begin with: "Grace had a rough day at work." It's not that it's a bad sentence, it's just that it is dead, not moving, going nowhere. Yawn. And it sounds as if she is done with the day. She's not.
I rephrased it to the 'had had'. Didn't work. So how to rephrase it so it is moving, here-and-now, you know, good.
Grace's day so far was not going well.
Grace's day was not going well.
I think I like that one. It leaves a lot open. Yeah, think I'll go for this one.
Filed under: OnWriting by PaulaO
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Keywords: Editing
last modified: 05/15/05 23:15
Comments: 0 so far | Got a Comment? | TrackBack URI
Keywords: Editing
last modified: 05/15/05 23:15
