bookmark_borderWake Up Call

I had a doc appt. the other day. Nothing special. Just follow up for the new inhaler (love it) and blood work (hate it). As always, they had trouble finding a vein but it only took two sticks.

When I saw the doc, she had one of the blood tests back already. My fasting glucose was 135. Not good. Norm is about 90 or less. 135 is in the diabetes range. She then ordered another test called the A1c test. Luckily they had enough left over and I didn’t have to be stuck again.

I got some scripts refilled, got a lecture about some other stuff, then left. The blood test would take several hours to get back but they’d hear something that afternoon. Needless to say, I wasn’t happy. My grandmother, my mom, and my bro all have/had diabetes. So it’s been something I’ve been aware of for some time. And we’d been watching my glucose levels, too. But never had the fasting result been that high. I tend to be more hypoglycemic (too low).

Later that day, we got the call. The A1c test result said 4.7%. That is, like, way low.

To explain, the A1c test kinda sorta can give you the average of your blood sugar levels for the past several weeks. A diabetic needs to keep that number below 6.5 or 7. A non-diabetic person usually has between 4-6. I’ve read up on the test and I haven’t a freakin’ clue what it is saying.

But what the two different results mean – and they are very different – is that I am now an official “pre-diabetic”. My glucose levels are experiencing huge swings as my body tries to get the insulin to do what it is supposed to.

I had several hours to sit here and think while I waited for the news. I thought about what I was about to lose. Pasta. Chocolate. Mtn Dew. The ability to eat a meal without thinking about what was going in and calculate the damage to benefit ratio.

Pre-diabetes doesn’t mean I will actually get diabetes. Chances are I will but I could keep it at bay for some time. That is IF I can do all the good things. I can’t exercise but I can change my diet. I’m to go see a diabetic counselor/nutritionist. I saw one many years ago and she was about as useless as tits on a bull. Hopefully, whoever I see this time will be better.

We’ve already started looking at our food. More salad. Less colas. Smaller, multiple meals with small snacks. Cheese, fruit, nuts.

Anyone have any advice?

bookmark_borderScreeching to a Halt

After many days of words just flowing off my fingertips (2000-4500 word days!), they are now non-existent (38-44 word days). Yesterday I struggled with a single paragraph and got nowhere. Every time I did a word count, it was less than the last one! Today, I got that one done, only to be stumped by the next one. I am this close (…) to just chucking the scene and moving on.

And I would if I had a clue where I was going.

bookmark_borderWriting Again, Headaches Again

Now that I am writing more, the headaches have returned. They never truly went away but now they are nearly every day with varying intensities.

A recent study has kinda sorta figured out how light and migraines are connected. The light didn’t cause the migraine but instead made it a lot worse. Light always bothers me and I don’t see it as being much different when I have a headache. For me, it is sound that is hypersensitive and will push me from nausea to vomiting.

I did, though, find the light study to be interesting. What they discovered was the light caused electrons on the outside of the nerve fibers to get excited. This excitement lasted even after the light source was removed.

They traced the path of the melanopsin retinal cells through the optic nerve to the brain where they found a group of neurons that become electrically active during a migraine.

“When small electrodes were inserted into these ‘migraine neurons’, we discovered that light was triggering a flow of electrical signals that was converging on these very cells,” said Professor Burstein.

Even when the light was removed these neurons remained activated.

“This helps explain why patients say that their headache intensifies within seconds after exposure to light, and improves 20 to 30 minutes after being in the dark.”

Dr Sue Lipscombe, a GP from Brighton with a special interest in headaches, said: “It suggests that an external source is contributing to the migraine condition and it is not just a contained brain disorder that just takes its cycle but that there are outside modifying factors.”

(source)

It is quite possible that my headaches are not migraines but a form of tension headache. I don’t always feel nausea but I don’t lean that way anyway. The longer the headache lasts, the more likely I will start to get the nausea. My headaches will often back off with Tylenol, ibuprofen, and a can of soda if I catch it soon enough. They don’t go away completely and within 3 hrs or less, it will rise back up. Ice on my head can help, too, when it gets really bad. What helps the most is a cool shower where I do nothing but sit there with the water hitting my scalp. The touch sensation and the coolness will back it off enough that I can drug myself some more and go to sleep.

The headaches are definitely linked to my neck issues. Which is why I think there is some sort of posture change I do from when I am playing a game to when I am writing. The main outright difference is that my right hand is on the keyboard vs the mouse. If anything, I tend to sit straighter when I am typing than when I am involved in a game.

bookmark_borderAnd Now, Something Serious

My brother sent me a link to something which led me to search for something else which led me to yet something else. Amazing thing, this Internet.

Bro sent me a link to Fagbug.com, a site dedicated to a victim of a (mild form of) hate crime. Erin Davies had her car vandalized because she had a rainbow sticker on it. No other reason. They wrote “fag” and “u r gay” on her Volkswagen Beetle. Hence the “fagbug” term. She got mad (yes!) and drove around the US and parts of Canada with the graffiti still on the car. There’s a documentary about her journey, some cool stickers, and some t-shirts to support anti-hate crime groups.

What got me on a search was that her car was vandalized on the 11th Annual National Day of Silence (2007). One, I hate it when I hear about ‘day/year/month of’ events the day after, at the end of the month, or near the end of the year. Two, that day was the ELEVENTH and I’d never ever heard of it. So I looked it up. The National Day of Silence (it is April 16th this year) is geared toward schools to stop verbal and physical bullying toward LGBT kids.

The National Day of Silence brings attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. Each year the event has grown, now with hundreds of thousands of students coming together to encourage schools and classmates to address the problem of anti-LGBT behavior.

That site (and it’s great!) led me to Think Before You Speak. This site is dedicated to word usage that is degrading to others. Such as using words like ‘fag’ and ‘dyke’ and phases such as ‘that’s so gay’. I’d heard that phrase many times but wasn’t sure what it meant exactly. I knew it wasn’t a good thing but it wasn’t an all out bad thing either. They have some public service announcements that make it clear just what it means. My fave is the one with Wanda Sykes. They also have doohickeys to add to websites and posters you can download. I like the posters a lot, especially the That’s so “Cheerleader who can’t like, say smart stuff” one. (posters are at the bottom of the page)

Frankly, it is about time something is done about bullying in school. Because it has always happened, it’s just become accepted, a kind of rite of passage. Except some kids don’t make it through. Some kids, like Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover can’t take it anymore and commit suicide. At age 11, Carl hung himself. Eleven years old. Think about that. Any time an 11 yr old kid kills himself because he was being daily bullied and humiliated, that ain’t normal. It should never be accepted. Sadly, Carl wasn’t the only one. There were at least four other middle school age kids who committed suicide due to constant bullying.

You a kid? Stop bullying. When you see someone doing it or suffering it, step in. Yeah, you’ll get bullied, too, but now there’s two of you. Talk to your friends and soon there’ll be more of you. Make it stop. It is easier to stop bullying than it is to attend a funeral.

You an adult? What the fuck are we doing? Carl’s mom repeatedly talked to the school, trying to get them to do something about the bullying. Nothing was ever done. Carl had to die to make it stop. We need to talk to our kids, our nieces and nephews, our neighbors, our friends’ kids. We need to make them aware that bullying isn’t good for anyone. It doesn’t matter if a kid is being bullied because they are small or because they are Hispanic or fat or smart or dumb or whatever. Feeling belittled for whatever reason feels the same.

bookmark_borderBirthday and High School

I neglected to publicly wish my darlin’ a happy birthday. I got her two cards and a wireless headset for the television. Okay, so maybe the headset was also for my benefit, too.

Precious (she’s Precious, I’m Special) had to work that day (Jan. 13th) and I had a major headache so we didn’t go out to eat until the next day. We went to the Longhorn Steakhouse. Not too bad price but the cook for the day was far too fond of the salt shaker. We mentioned it to the waiter (he asked why we had so much left on our plates and why we weren’t taking it home) and we got a free dessert. We didn’t want it but he thought he was doing something nice so we ate some of it.

Our 20th anniversary is coming up (June 23rd). We had hoped to maybe go to the UK this year but international travel kept looking hairy. We don’t know what we’ll do now. The GCLS conference is in May or June in Orlando so maybe we’ll just add some time onto that trip. It’s not that I’m apathetic to where and what we’ll be doing but I really had my hopes set for the UK. Of course, accessibility issues would have made it very difficult but we’d survived.

Speaking of 20 years, I heard from a friend from high school (go Chiefs!) the other day. High school was 27 years ago. We actually also went to college together (go Railsplitters!) but grew apart as graduation neared. She joined the military and I went to NJ. We’ve been emailing back and forth as she reminds me of folks we knew and where they are now. Weird. When she first contacted me, she used my Other Name and I was tempted to not respond. But I knew who it was and I didn’t want to wave her off. Apparently, I am hard to find! When most women change their last name, they do it because they got married. They then become Sandy Jenkins Smith (hyphen is optional). But I didn’t change my name because of marriage so that other moniker just got tossed aside like dross (new word of the day).

I’ve often thought of going to a high school reunion. Our freakin’ 30th is coming up soon. I’ve changed a lot. I’m fat. Really fat. I don’t think so until I see a photo and I freak and want to stop eating for the next month. I’ve got enough fat that I can live off of that until then. Bad genetics bit me in the butt so many times… Then there’s the whole “And this is my partner, Lorna. No, she’s not my caregiver, she’s my lover. Yes, she’s a brave woman for putting up with me.” thing and the “I write books. The genre? Lesbian romance and lesbian sci-fi/fantasy.” And then there’s the wheelchair thing. “No, not Iraq or swimming pool or drive-by gang shooting. I was born a mutant and lived among you as a human.”

bookmark_borderWriting Words

It’s not easy most of the time, ya know. There’s sentence structure (sentence diagramming used to be so fun in high school! not so much now); there’s grammar (dangling participle sounds kinda kinky, don’t it?); there’s plot (that elusive thing that carries the book from Chapter One to The End); and then there’s such oddities as character, setting, climax (speaking of kink…) and genre.

But despite all that (and more) I really really love being an author. I want to write. I want to take that dreamworld I’ve invented in my head and make it real enough in words on paper that you, someone not in my head (thank god!) can see it too.

I’m working on too many things again. One day I feel like working on Simple Sarah (the piece I’ve been working on for FIVE years) or Sleep (formerly called Exodus, my ’09 NaNoWriMo project) or, as I discovered today, I feel like working on a Butch Girl novel (of which there are 3 in progress) (yes, three). Then there is Wayback. I want to revive it for my niece while she is young enough to enjoy it. And then there’s the short stories I really ought to find a publication for.

It feels good to be writing again. It is like meeting an old friend and chatting about all the stupid stuff we did in college.

bookmark_borderKindle vs the ADA

In a round-a-bout way, Kindle just got smacked by the US Govmint. Hopefully they (Amazon.com) will start listening to the complaints they’ve had since the Kindle was first released. But then, a lot of the ebook readers have fallen short of the accessibility issues.

(bolding and underlining of the paragraph is my doing)

Justice Department Reaches Three Settlements Under the Americans with Disabilities Act Regarding the Use of Electronic Book Readers

WASHINGTON – The Justice Department today announced separate agreements under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) with Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Pace University in New York City and Reed College in Portland, Ore., regarding the use in a classroom setting of the electronic book reader, the Kindle DX, a hand-held technological device that simulates the experience of reading a book.

Under the agreements reached today, the universities generally will not purchase, recommend or promote use of the Kindle DX, or any other dedicated electronic book reader, unless the devices are fully accessible to students who are blind and have low vision. The universities agree that if they use dedicated electronic book readers, they will ensure that students with vision disabilities are able to access and acquire the same materials and information, engage in the same interactions, and enjoy the same services as sighted students with substantially equivalent ease of use. The agreements that the Justice Department reached with these universities extend beyond the Kindle DX to any dedicated electronic reading device.

(…)

A handful of universities participated in a pilot project in cooperation with Amazon.com Inc. to test the viability of the Kindle DX in a classroom setting. The terms of the Justice Department’s agreement with each university become effective at the end of the pilot projects.

The current model of the Kindle DX has the capability to read texts aloud, so that the materials would be accessible to blind individuals, but the device does not include a similar text-to-speech function for the menu and navigational controls. Without access to the menus, students who are blind have no way to know which book they have selected or how to access the Kindle DX Web browser or its other functions. The technological “know how” to make navigational controls or menu selections accessible is available.

Other universities, such as Syracuse University and the University of Wisconsin at Madison, also examined the utility of the Kindle DX as a teaching device and decided that they would not use the Kindle DX until it is accessible to blind individuals.

(source)

bookmark_borderPain Management

I saw this headline and immediately said “No shit”.

Millions of Americans in Pain Without Meds

I have chronic pain. At all times, something is hurting. And what prescribed medication do I currently have to assist with my pain relief? I have a muscle relaxer that knocks me out, makes me more stoned that Vicoden. Yet I can’t get more Vicoden. Why? My GP is one of those who doesn’t like prescribing it. But the orthopedist I was seeing for the broken leg was pushing Percocet on me like it was candy. (and yes, I kept the refills)

I have seen two so-called pain specialists. Both were needle happy and never discussed medication. One dumped me after only a few weeks because my condition did not fit his box. He was incapable of thinking of how to help me. I disturbed his assembly line procedures. The second doc, bless his heart, did try. He not only did injections (lots and lots of them) but also tried mechanical devices such as a water pump heating pad system. But even he would not prescribe any kind of narcotic pain medication. He knew I was not abusing them. He had evidence in front of him that I was, indeed, in the pain I said I was. Yet, he would not touch narcotics.

(…)

“Many people suffer needlessly with pain that could be treated, and almost 80 percent of visits to community pharmacies involve pain issues,” said Hahn, lead author of the research articles. “We’re in the middle of a storm here, and have to figure out some way to navigate through it.”

At least 30 percent of patients with moderate chronic pain and more than 50 percent with severe pain fail to achieve adequate relief, Hahn said. In these and earlier works, Hahn suggests the shortcomings are due to inadequate physician training, personal biases, and doctors’ fears of prescription drug abuse.

(…)

Argoff, who was not involved in the current studies, pointed out that there are many different avenues to treat pain, including massage, opioids and behavioral therapy, so a short course can’t possibly teach each of them. “Nobody could leave medical school without learning how to read an EKG, so why should they leave without a basic understanding of pain management?”

Not only that, Argoff said that inadequate medical training leads to “irrational fears” that pain meds will be abused, and a bias that all pain patients are drug abusers. “Any medication can be misused or abused,” he told LiveScience. “It doesn’t have to be a pain medication.”

(source)

bookmark_borderMike’s Website/Blog

I have too many websites. Really, I do.

Anyway, Mike’s website/blog/whatever (aptly named Mike’s Doghouse) is alive again. He and I are going to re-try our training for him to be my service dog. We had so many delays earlier but it worked out in the end. He needed time to mature, to find himself I guess. He’s still young but the time is right. I won’t post a note here every time I post a note there but I figured I’d tell you here that I was also back over there as well as here. You get all that?