Month: May 2009

bookmark_borderHump Dump 3

Posted on by PaulaO

We’re messing with my pain med, trying to find a range where the pain is controlled and yet I’m not nauseous nor chasing butterflies (our playful term for that wonderful “wheee!” feeling). This means I am able to focus on things longer which is good. I’ve spent the past two days nodding off, hurling, and saying things like “oh, shiny!”.

I’m taking advantage of this focus by trying to figure out just what the MRI report is saying. I’ve learned more than I ever wanted to know about MRI and big words like chondromalacia.

The thing with this report is that there are two situations it is discussing. One is the actual injury and the other is the stuff that was already wrong with the knee. For example:

A few tiny subchondral cysts are present in the patella laterally……5. Chondromalacia patella

The first are little bubbles or cracks of stuff that forms from osteoarthritis (OA). I’ve got OA in most, if not all, of my larger joints. The other one name for “runner’s knee” and for “Patello-femoral Pain Syndrome” meaning the cartilage under the kneecap (the patella) is irritated, inflamed, or even peeled up. I’ve known about this for years since my kneecaps are off-track (no pun intended) and have been for years. This, too, then is just signs of OA.

Then we get into the highly technical stuff.

“decreased T1 and increased T2 signal intensity” and “dark T1, bright T2 signal intensity”

This one was a little more difficult to figure out. I’ve seen these terms used before on other MRI results of mine before, though. I found some articles that were way over my brain capacity. But after reading several different stuff, I *think* T1 shows material and T2 shows fluid. So a dark T1, bright T2 section would be fluid, such as edema. This is like where an x-ray shows dark areas where there’s no bone and light areas where there is bone. So basically the report says there’s a lot of fluid/edema on the knee. No shit! It looked like a football at that point!

BONES: there is a fracture of the proximal left tibia involving the plateau posteriorly and laterally. The tibial plateau fracture is depressed approximately 3mm……There is also a small fracture of the proximal left fibula with some surrounding edema.

– Proximal means close to the body, or the top end.
– Plateau is the part of the bone where it flattens off at the joint.
– Posteriorly means in the back
– laterally means to the side, in this case, the side opposite the other knee
– Depressed fracture usually means impact depth (ouch!)

So the left tibia (does he mean the left leg or does he mean the left side?) has a crack near the top plateau going from the back and around to the side that is 3mm (0.1181099 inch) deep and the fibula has a small crack near the top, too. This type of break is also known as a “fender” break from when someone is hit by a car. It is possible that I hit that leg on the sidewalk when I landed. I know, though, that I hurt something when I first stumbled but as much as my right knee hurts, it is possible I hurt it, fell, and broke the other.

The right knee hurts almost as much as the left minus the nasty swelling. It is hot to the touch and only today have I been able to prod the kneecap enough to determine its location. Hopefully when I see the orthopedist Tuesday, we can discuss possible damage there, too.

There. A bunch of words for “it cracked”.

bookmark_borderHump Dump 2

Posted on by PaulaO

I see the orthopedist on Tuesday afternoon. Meanwhile, we got the prescription for Percocet filled and it has cut the pain back significantly. I managed to sleep quite well last night, waking up every 5 hrs or so when the drug wore off. I went to bed at about 6pm (shock, I know) and got up at a little after 8am. My rib cage is killing me! We tried to set me up on my left side but the leg couldn’t take the weight. At 6am we set me up on my back with my big wedge pillow and that helped the ribs some but the back was not happy when I woke up. But 14hrs in bed is long enough, thanks!

We got the house set up so that it is more accessible. We thought it was until now. Usually I can hobble to where I need to be if I can’t get there with the chair. Like the bathroom. Lorna had to take the two shelving units out of the hallway and move other stuff so I could turn around. She went out to do errands and got me a walker to use to stand up from the toilet and to use to balance in the small bathroom. I normally use the sink but its come loose from the wall. She also made it so I can get almost to the bed. I use one of my forearm crutches and the dresser to hop the short distance to the bed.

Lorna has to work Monday so we’ll know then if I can make it all day by myself. She’ll make me a sandwich and put it in a small cooler so I can have lunch. I’ll have to get up when she leaves but can sleep in my chair if I need to. We have one of those phone systems that has 3 handsets and I’m getting into the habit of making sure I have one of them on me at all times. My cell phone is hooked to the chair, too.

For most folks, a broken leg isn’t to big of a deal but for me, it’s turning out to be a huge thing. My left hip is getting tender from being the pivot point for the entire leg. The left knee is also injured and is hot and tender. My rib cage aches from laying on my side. My shoulders hurt from hauling my fat ass around. My right hand and forearm are bruised from the fall. I need to make this orthopedist understand how connected my body is. How even a sore toe can cause an avalanche of problems. What a PITA I am, eh?

Okay, I need to tilt back now. The swelling in the ankle got pretty bad yesterday so I’m having to spend a lot of time tilted far back in my chair so the foot is up.

Click on the images to view larger versions. This is from yesterday and looks great compared to what it looked liked while we were in the ER (it looked like someone had shoved a football under the skin). It looks about the same today.

bookmark_borderHumpty Dumpty

Posted on by PaulaO

From the MRI report:

BONES: there is a fracture of the proximal left tibia involving the plateau posteriorly and laterally. The tibial plateau fracture is depressed approximately 3mm. There is surrounding decreased T1 and increased T2 signal intensity in the marrow of the proximal left tibia from edema. There is also a small fracture of the proximal left fibula with some surrounding edema. There is a 3mm dark T1, bright T2 signal intensity lesion in the proximal left tibia. A few tiny subchondral cysts are present in the patella laterally.

IMPRESSION:

1. Left tibial plateau fracture laterally with minimal depression

2. Fracture of proximal left fibula

3. Moderate left knee joint efusion which contains a small amount of fat within it

4. Tiny cystic appearing lesion in proximal left tibia

5. Chondromalacia patella

I fell down with boom. I think it broke before I hit the ground. Not sure. I’m on drugs right now so as far as I know, the Drag King’s Horses are still dancing around me. See the orthopedist today.

bookmark_borderOnly a Matter of Time

Posted on by PaulaO

Now that I am no longer in such a funk, I have found some cool articles about the Prop. 8 thingamabob in California.

The Big Gay Shrug

The pattern is as old as fear itself. Remember, only rarely does true progress appear as a single, momentous, Obama-like shift that reverberates across the planet and changes everything in an instant. Most frequently it comes in fits and starts and hiccups, small lurches and hard-fought battles shot through with little spitballs of hate and intolerance and heaps of misunderstanding. You know, just like now.

Evidence? Plenty. Just look at the numbers: Support for gay marriage is now the highest it’s been in American history, somewhere between 42 and 48 percent nationwide. Just a few decades ago, support was down in the 20s. It’s been rising steadily ever since, never once regressing.

Or, flip that data around. According to FiveThirtyEight, marriage bans like California’s are losing support at a rate of about two percent a year. According to that model, more than half of U.S. states will vote against bans like the contemptible Prop 8 as soon as 2012, if not sooner. By 2024, even miserably homophobic joints like Alabama and Mississippi will be flying the rainbow flag.

If Liza Minnelli & Star Jones Can Marry a Gay Man…

I say, “Don’t Be Afraid of Love”. Marriage is a social custom not a religious edict. Even within the context of religion it is a custom that is practiced differently around the world today just as it has been throughout history. Different societies practice marriage differently according to the customs of their belief systems. God has never weighed in on the issue – if he has, he’s obviously been a flip-flopper and you know how we feel about flip-floppers. So there goes your religious argument.

(…)

So, if the institution of marriage is so sacred why is it easier to get a marriage license than it is to get a driver’s license? States tell you that having a driver’s license is a privilege not a right ( a right they will gladly take away and worse – unless you are a celebrity) so the DMV creates tests and hurdles that most people fail their first time (kind of like marriage actually) to insure only potentially good drivers get licenses – drivers who won’t hurt other people. And the great equalizer is that every few years every license holder must study and take a pain-in-the-ass test again to reassess their knowledge and skills if they want to keep their license; and many people fail. Yet any psycho or unhealthy individual can get married, propagate and mess up a brand new generation of innocent people’s lives – which hurts society and their sacred exclusive institution of marriage – by being asked only one simple question that is answered, “ I do”. How many other questions could be answered similarly without nearly the importance?

bookmark_borderMob Mentality

Posted on by PaulaO

In the chaos after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, thousands of Japanese-Americans were put into “camps”. After the events of 9/11, thousands of Muslims or assumed-to-be Muslims were harassed, some killed, some deported, others sent off to that horrid thing called Guantanamo Bay. Why? Because of Mob Mentality.

Far too often something sparks a riot or a small mob that then does something stupid like beating someone to death or tossing rocks at police. People who normally don’t have a mean streak find themselves being swept up by the wave of emotion and physical energy.

It is this Mob Mentality that has created a huge mistake in California. Thousands of individuals are being denied the basic right of marriage to the person they love simply because that person is of the same gender. No other reason. And it is allowed to happen and is condoned by the California state Supreme Court.

There’s a reason why we have Senators and Representatives in the state and federal government. It’s to protect ourselves from ourselves. To prevent the Mob Mentality from doing something stupid that will have to be cleaned up later. The Senators and Representatives are supposed to help the people get what they want through legislation. In a nutshell, that’s how it’s supposed to work. But even they get caught up in the furor and emotion of events. Such as that poor lady in Florida who was allowed to slow starve to death. The federal and state government tried to stop it. Why? Mob mentality.

The thing is, we never know when the Mob is going to turn on us. When will we find ourselves on the wrong side of the street? When will it become not a good thing to, say, live in New Jersey? Remember all the people getting kicked out of school and homes because they had AIDS? Remember the Japanese-Americans? Remember the people locked up in hotels for weeks because of the swine flu? What about breed specific dog laws?

The courts cannot allow the Mob Mentality to rule. It cannot. It isn’t there to say “The People want this.” It is there to say “This is the Law, this is the Constitution, and this is the decision based on those two.”

Someday, “they” will come for you. “They” will come for your children. “They” will come for your dogs, your parents, your job, your lifestyle, your personal choice that is no one’s business but your own. They will hate you because you are different from whatever the norm of the moment is. They will come for you because you aren’t one of them.

Someday, I will be able to openly display affection for my partner of nearly 19 yrs. But that day isn’t today.

Because they’ve come for us.

bookmark_borderOn Possums and Games

Posted on by PaulaO

Mike brought me another surprise yesterday. This time a possum. It was very dead and not just playing at it. I used a plastic grocery bag, picked it up, and dumped it out behind Fort Rooster. Lorna buried it when she came home later. I couldn’t find the shovel (that’s my excuse and I’m stickin’ with it). The day before, I was on a long phone call with my baby bro. I turned around at the end of it to find several sticks, both outside balls (nasty well-used half-sized basketballs), most of a dead tennis ball, the remnants of what used to be underwear, several walnuts, and some bits of plastic (not sure from what). Mike was busy whilst I chatted! How nice of him to bring the outdoors in. Still don’t know where he found the undies.

Our dog lot includes the back porch which has a doggy ramp going from the porch to the ground. We keep the back door open so the dogs have free access to the outside. Of course, we only do this when it is warm enough. We’re supposed to be putting in a doggy door in the wall but I got sidetracked and it’s not done. Not that the doggy door would keep Mike from bringing miscellaneous stuff in. He’d probably be like that dog in a cartoon that can’t figure out why the 2′ long stick won’t go through the 1′ wide door.

As for the games, I’ve joined the ranks of those that play World of Warcraft. I know, I know. I tried to resist. I did. But I thought it would be cool to play online with my bro and his family. The problem is, they all work during the day and then at night, they have to go to bed early ’cause they gotta be at work the next day. Sigh. I don’t see how people do that. Anyway, I tried a demo, liked it, and bought the game. In case anyone knows what I’m talking about, I’m a gnome mage, level 14. My character’s name is Gadgetmoss. I have a human character, too: a mage named RockOn who is at level 8 or so. But I’m more in like with the gnome than the human one. Gnomes are funny little things with emphasis on the little. It was so funny the first time Kev joined me in the game. My character is really not much higher than his knees! I play some during the day, usually the human character, then get going with the gnome chick later in the day.

My neck is slowly getting better, although now the headaches have started. I was surprised it took them so long. Last night, I was playing the game with my sis-in-law (Col) and this guy they know. He (a level 80 somethinganother) took the two of us on an “Instance”. I think what we did was we little gnomes (Col restarted with a new character and chose a gnome so we could do things together) tagged along behind him while he blew everyone and thing up. Since we were a group, we shared the bonus points and stuff and our levels went up. That and we got a crapload of loot. Anyway, I don’t remember much of it. I had this roaring headache. And I was trying to not hurl. But it was impossible for me to leave the game. Not there! So I stayed quiet, did what I was told, and tried to not throw up on my laptop. Finally we got out of there and went somewhere safe. I used my somethinganother stone to zap back to my home tavern. And quit the game. I heavily medicated myself and went to bed. It was a rough night with weird dreams (gee, wonder why?).

So, Col, if you read this, that’s why I was so quiet. Between the headache and the nausea, it was all I could do to just focus on the game. I don’t remember much except whatshisname laughing because the two of us walked under that cannon near the end (he had to go way around it). That and I kept saying Stone Henge instead of Iron Forge. Sigh.

bookmark_borderCrick

Posted on by PaulaO

I have a crick in my neck. And, quite surprisingly, I don’t have a matching headache.

Usually I get a massive headache anytime I “overuse” my neck from doing silly things like turning my head while I go down the aisle in the grocery store. Or keeping my head bent for more than two pages while reading a book. Or turning my head more than a few times while driving. Silly me for abusing myself that way.

I can turn my chin to the right all the way and can turn it to the left about 1/3 of the way. I can bend my neck until my right ear almost touches my shoulder but can barely go left of center in the other direction. I can bend my chin down most of the way but only a little way backwards. When I try to walk, my head is tilted to the right and looking down. To hold my head upright while walking is horribly painful, even by my tainted standards. So the few times yesterday and today that I have to walk through the house, I put on my neck brace (I have a new one that is awesome!). It helps some but mostly helps me keep my head level. I can sit with my head and neck supported and manage to keep it fairly level without the brace.

Because when I keep my head in that position, you guessed it, I got a headache! Luckily it was a very minor one that I caught way early. I’m also taking high doses of muscle relaxers so that helps, too.

Today I read the Oath of Gold, book 3 in the Deeds of Paksinarrion series by Elizabeth Moon. Good read. The books are a big influence on my writing of Simple Sarah although in re-reading it (for the fourth or fifth time) I can see how much the two differ as well as how they are so similar. I re-read it to try and find where and how Moon “shows” instead of “telling”. Her infodumps are subtle but there. I like how she describes things using all the senses and not just visual. She likes smell the most.

Lorna will be home tomorrow and can keep me entertained. I may send her to the library after some more books. Any suggestions?

bookmark_borderMore on Space and Time

Posted on by PaulaO

Innocent me (stop laughing, Kev) decided to read an article on Hubble (“Is Hubble Worth the Upgrade Mission’s Risk and Cost?“) over on LiveScience. There’s a bunch of links down at the bottom of the article (below the poll) and one of them linked to a Science.com article “Why the Universe is All History” which deals with the light/time issue that I brought up earlier.

This article discusses the issue well, although it still hurt some to read it then try to grasp the concepts. The first bit of the article is what caused a big AHA! moment for me. I bolded the section that I like the most.

It took 300 years of experiment and calculation to pin down the speed at which light travels in a vacuum: an impressive 186,282 miles per second.

Light will travel slightly slower than this through air, and some wild experiments have actually slowed light to a crawl and seemingly made it go backward, but at the scales encountered in our everyday lives, light is so fast that we perceive our surroundings in real time.

Look up into the night sky and this illusion begins to falter.

Cool. So because the light here is slower (in galactic terms) what we see right now is in real time. The article continues by saying the moon’s (reflected) light is 1.2 seconds old when we see it. When we look at the closest star system (Proxima Centauri), the light from it that we perceive is 4 years old.

Where I went lost earlier is that in bringing Proxima Centauri closer via the telescope, we aren’t necessarily looking at its 3 yr old light vs the 4. The “age” of the light hasn’t changed because we’ve not moved. The telescope lens only brings that perceived light into better focus. No matter how big a telescope we make, we’ll only ever see 4 yr old light from that star system.

What is happening with bigger telescopes–and the telescopes in space–we are seeing further away and therefore, seeing further back into time. We can now see galaxies that are so far away, their light is billions of years old. We’ve not moved toward it, only been able to bring space into better focus. And that focus is getting better and better.

bookmark_borderTime in the Dark

Posted on by PaulaO

Our power went out last night from just before 7pm until nearly midnight. We sat out on the back porch to read and play with the dogs. The normally quiet neighborhood was filled with the sounds of kids (and adults!) playing outdoors. Once it got too dark to see, everyone went inside. We lit some candles (we have a cool lantern but I spilled fuel everywhere so we didn’t light it) and sat in the living room, listening to the silence.

And silence is loud.

No fish tanks. No whirring laptop fans. No window fan. No refrigerator or freezer motors. Silence.

There was the drip from one of the fish filters. And there was a ticking clock (which promptly was put outside; I can’t stand that sound). There was the wind in the bamboo. The sounds of traffic.

Lorna and I sat and talked about what would the night sounds be in Whitehaven, the fictional town in my Fantasy novel. Families would gather in one room until they went to bed. Unless they were rich, you’d not take a candle to your room and sit with it lit. What would you do? A single candle is very hard to use as light to read. What would the family do? They’d hear doors opening and shutting. They’d hear the occasional loud sounds coming from businesses open after dark, like taverns and maybe from the lobbies of hotels or boarding houses.

When you’d be ready for bed, you’d take your candle up to see your way. And since you’d get up long before the sun came up in order to be ready to start work, you’d bring your candle back down. Where would you keep it? Or would you use a very small lantern?

How would businesses light up their spaces? Lanterns, candles, fireplaces. There’d be someone who sold loads of wood to everyone. Where would you keep it? There’d be the candle maker, the glass maker, the potter – all businesses to support the lighting. Would cook/heating stoves be made in town or made elsewhere and brought in? Would you go to them all individually or would you purchase what you need from a mercantile type of store?

This made me realize I never envisioned a heat source for Sarah’s family shop. They had the cook stove in the kitchen but I didn’t have anything in the shop where they worked. Primarily this never came up in my visualization of the place because she’s not there when it gets cold. But when I describe (via the “show, don’t tell” method, of course) the shop, I never mention the heat source. Would it be necessary to do so?

So we discussed what we’d hear and why. What we’d see and why. And why not for both. It was a quiet talk between us but sadly took up only about 45 mins or so.

The power company called my cell phone at about ten to say it was going to be much later before the power was back on. I drug out the deep cycle battery and hooked up the air pumps for the fish tanks. Didn’t want to get up to a bunch of dead fish.

Then I went to bed. At 10:30. I wasn’t sick, either. I don’t think I’ve gone to bed that early in a very long time. I wanted to stay up and write. But the laptop drains the deep cell battery quickly, especially with the air pumps going at the same time. I laid there, staring out in the darkness, wide freakin’ awake. I did fall asleep several times but woke myself up snoring. My CPAP doesn’t have a battery back up. A little before midnight, the lights came on and I got up to turn everything off, fix the air pumps, etc etc.

And it was very loud in the house again.

bookmark_borderRomance Writers of America and GLBT

Posted on by PaulaO

Romance Writers of America (RWA) has started a new chapter called “Rainbow Romance Writers” (RRW) for the GLBT authors. Be still my heart.

I am sooooo not excited about this group. I’ve never been to a RWA meeting. Nor do I want to fork over the $110 membership dues ($85 a yr after first). Nor do I want to fork over the $25 additional membership dues to join RRW. I just don’t see the benefits. Perhaps later, maybe, if everything actually comes along. I don’t see that happening. I could be wrong and, in a way, I hope I am. And, no, I do not consider it a bad thing to wait to see what happens once the glitter stops falling.

RWA has argued letting in GLBT writers for years. Perhaps this “chapter” is their way of quelling the riots (that may or may not exist). So far, the website for RRW is promoting what seems to be all gay (male) fiction with perhaps a transgender and perhaps a bisexual novel listed on the “bookshelf” page. The “links” page lists Lambda Literary (but not GCLS) and a bunch of publishers (some even lesbian oriented).

What I find missing from the sparse website is this: what are the benefits (specific to RRW)? what happens to the GLBT romance books (of members) now? will they be put on shelves alongside het romance (how would the bookstores know?)? will Nora Roberts’ books be just a few shelves away from mine (alphabetically)? It all comes down to: will joining RWA and RRW create more sales and/or help me to be a better writer?

RWA membership has some benefits, depending on how one looks at them.

    Advocacy (contract assistance it seems)
    Romance Writers Report (newsletter)
    eNotes (email newsletter)
    Chapters (local, online, special interest)
    Members-Only Resources (“Find valuable information and resources only available to members.”)
    Contests and Conferences
    Subscription to Nielson Bookscan (for an addition $58), Publisher Alley (an additional $30 reduced rate), and Publishers Weekly (30% off subscription rate)

Nope, not for me. The money is too steep and the benefits are too minimal. I get more from my $10 a yr dues to Golden Crown Literary Society (GCLS) in the form of friends, networking, and a cool yearly conference. For another $30 minimum, I can join Lambda Literary Foundation and get emails and newsletters specifically for GLBT readers and writers.